


Peace

by Chelsea072498



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 08:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13267215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelsea072498/pseuds/Chelsea072498
Summary: Dean and Sam have been looking for Y/N for months. Dean doesn’t want her back. He wants closure and peace. He finds so much more





	Peace

**Author's Note:**

> A/N - Dean and Sam have been looking for Y/N for months. Dean doesn’t want her back. He wants closure and peace. He finds so much more  
> Word Count - 3028  
> Warnings - angst, tiniest bit of fluff, twist at end that I refuse to spoil. Just know there’s a twist and part of that could be upsetting, part is somewhat happy

**Peace**

 

Dean Winchester slammed the door and looked at his brother. “What?”

“You’re in a lovely mood this morning.” mumbled Sam. “I was sure after leaving with the blonde last night….”

“She wasn’t what I was looking for.” Dean started the car. “You should know that by now.”

He cranked the music and they took off down the highway. Sam glanced at his older brother, worried, but he hoped that their next stop would finally bring Dean closure.

“We’re heading to Hattiesburg, Mississippi.” Sam shared what he’d learned. “Dean, I’m positive she’s there.”

“If she is, it’s too late to fix things.” Dean knew that. She’d left with no explanation. “We’ve been looking for Y/N for over a year. We’ve worked a handful of cases that were no brainers. We just happened to be in the area. We’ve shoved bigger cases off on other hunters to search for her. I just need to know…”

“Yeah, I get it.” Sam understood. Y/N was the first woman Dean considered a real relationship with since Lisa. Dean didn’t do love, but Sam knew what his brother felt for Y/N was as close as Dean Winchester would ever get.

They rolled into town half past five. They found a room on the outskirts and Dean immediately took off for the bar. He walked in and saw only a few older gentlemen. He sat at the bar, ordered his whiskey, and pulled out the last picture he took of Y/N.

“You haven’t seen this woman, have you?” Dean held the photo up. The bartender hesitated and then nodded. “Yeah, I know Y/N. She’s in here most nights. She orders the same thing as you.”

“What time?” Dean asked.

“I expect her anytime.” The bartender studied Dean’s face. “She’s a nice girl. There’s sadness in her eyes. She said she left someone behind….”

“I found her.” Dean downed his beer and ordered a second. He took a deep breath and hoped that Y/N would show soon. Sam had the impala so she wouldn’t bolt before she walked in.

A few minutes later, he heard the door open. His breath quickened and his heart started racing. He knew she was there. Y/N was there. He turned around, slowing, coming face to face with her soft smile.

“You found me.”

“Yeah, I did.” Dean studied her face for a moment and then shook his head. “I’m not here to drag you back, Sweetheart. I just want to know why. I deserve that much.”

Y/N lowered her eyes. “You’re right. You do. I’m sorry, Dean. I needed to go. I was scared. I didn’t know what to do.”

“You could have told me!” Dean stopped himself. “Let’s step outside. We need to do this in private.”

“Yeah, we do.” Y/N led the way. Once outside in the crisp, cool air, she threw her arms around him and kissed him. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

He wanted to kiss her back. He wanted to pull her back to his room and forget all the time she’d been gone. He couldn’t though. He wouldn’t.

Y/N had left him with no explanation. He opened up to her. She walked away and as much as he cared, he wasn’t playing this game again.

“We can’t, Y/N.” Dean took a step back. “We were together for months and I gave you everything I could. I gave you my all. You turned around and ran. I’ve searched for you but I never intended to drag you back home.”  
  


“Why are you here if you don’t want me back?” Tears slowly fell from her eyes.

Dean lifted her chin and their eyes met. “I’ve lost too many people in my life, Sweetheart. For once, I didn’t want to lose someone and not say goodbye. If you’re gone, if you’re not going to be in my life, I want to know why. I want to say goodbye and have closure. For once.”

“Be careful. I may think you love me.” Y/N’s tone was teasing, a soft smile was on her face, but he saw the pain in her eyes.

“Was that it? Did you leave because I don’t love you?”

Y/N opened her mouth, but she was at a loss for words. “Dean, it’s more than…”

“What’s more?” Dean asked. “Damn it, Sammy and I have tracked you all over the country. I want answers. I deserve answers!”

“I left because I didn’t like who I was becoming.” Y/N cried. “I used to be independent. I didn’t answer to anyone. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. Being with you was amazing but restricting. I couldn’t take a case by myself. You insisted that I needed help. You never let me take the lead…”

“Damn it, Y/N! We’ve hunted together since we were kids! I never let you take the lead! I….”

“You’re protective. It’s one of the many things I love and admire about you. Dean, I’ve been taking care of myself for a very long time….”

“I thought we were going to take care of each other.” Dean looked at her. “Why? Why didn’t you talk to me?”

“Would you have listened?” Y/N asked. “Would you have let me take a case alone?”

“I don’t know.” Dean was honest. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

“I love you.” Y/N touched his face. “I have loved you for a long time. I never hid that, Dean. I only asked that you let me love you. Do you remember? Before you went to Hell? I told you to let me love you. I didn’t want or need anything in return….”

“Y/N,” He felt his resistance slipping away. “Maybe we should….”

“What? Go somewhere and talk? Spend the night together? I want to. More than you know. I would love to spend the night getting lost in your beautiful eyes, forgetting everything and everyone outside of whatever room we’re in.” Y/N shook her head. “We can’t do that. It would only hurt us both later. Talking is probably a good idea though. I do have a lot I need to say to you.”

“Let’s go find a very public, very well lit…”

“That’s the best idea but I don’t think a public setting is best for this conversation.”

“What do you have to say to me that’s so bad….”

“Dean? Hey, I just caught…” Sam was running over from their motel across the street. “Y/N.”  
  


“Hey, Sam.” She turned around. “Hey.”

Sam looked at his brother and then at his old friend. “I’m sorry I interrupted.”

“Probably for the best.” Dean said. “You caught what?”

“There’s a case. Werewolves.” Sam told him. “There’s been seven deaths here in two weeks.”

“They’re all third generation.” Y/N spoke up. I know where they’re at.”

“You’re hunting them?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, I took the case for an old friend.” Y/N took a deep breath. “I have everything we need to take care of them. Want to work one last case together?”

Dean stared at her, everything in him screaming no. Finally he smiled. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

“I’ll take the lead.”

“Like hell you will.” Dean winked at her.

~*~

They arrived at the abandoned house just before midnight. Y/N told them there were three young adults, she guessed twenty one to twenty five years old. Her friend took out their parents a few months earlier, but wasn’t able to make the drive to Mississippi.

“They’re killing for food right now, but they’re going to want a pack.” Y/N said.

“Why haven’t you ganked these ass hats yet?” Dean asked.

“There were eight of them two weeks ago.” Y/N shot his a dirty look. “I had to be careful. I am on my own.”

“We’ll get these bastards tonight.” Sam said. “You two ready?”

Y/N nodded. She knew Dean well enough to know he was about to pull her back. She took off running toward the side of the house.

“Damn it!” Dean chased her. “What are you doing?”

“My job.”

Sam took his mark and they all quietly waited for the three to exit the house, as Y/N promised they would. Sam would get one at his point, she and and Dean would deal with the other two.

“Be careful.” Dean looked at her. “You and I need to talk still.”

“Yeah, we do.”

Seconds later, the door opened. Y/N froze when she realized all three werewolves were in front of them.

Dean fired a shot and got one immediately. Y/N fired at one, but the third jumped on top of her. She fought, kicking, punching, and managed to throw the tiny girl off her body. She grabbed her gun and aimed, but a sharp pain seared through her body.

“Y/N!” Dean aimed and fired at the werewolf behind her. Sam raced over and shot at the one Y/N knocked away.

“No, no, no!” Dean was next to Y/N. “We can fix this. We know a cure.”

“Dean,” Sam knew they didn’t have everything they needed. He knew a bite from a pure blood meant the chances of the treatment working were slimmer.

Y/N knew it too. “Dean, no. I need you to listen to me.”

“We’re going to save you,” He pushed a piece of hair from her face. “We’re going to save you, I’m taking you back to the bunker, and the two of us are going to figure this thing out.”

“No, we aren’t.” Y/N shook her head. “We don’t have what we need for the cure, Dean. Please, for once, just listen to me!”

“I can’t lose you. This last year and a half has been hell.” Dean kissed the top of her head. “I can’t…I thought I was ready to say goodbye but I’m not. Y/N, I…”  
  


“I swear to God if you tell me you love me, the last thing I do will involve a bullet in your kneecap.” Y/N snapped. “You need to listen to me.”

“Okay, Sweetheart.” Dean held her close.

“I left because I learned something. I was scared and I knew there was a chance you would reject me. I wasn’t leaving to hunt alone or be an independent woman. I was leaving because I didn’t want you to have to make a decision I knew you never wanted to think about.”

“Y/N?”

“My sister’s been with me. Kaycee is at this motel.” Y/N handed him a matchbook from her pocket.  “She’ll be able to explain everything I can’t.” she bit her lip. “I love you.”

“Y/N,” Dean started, but she shook her head. “Damn it,” Dean kissed her softly as rain began to fall.

Sam kneeled next to her. “So it was yours?”

“I’m sorry I lied to you.” Y/N cried. “I’m surprised you didn’t say anything….”

“I was afraid to.” Sam admitted. He took her hand. “We’ll make this work.”

“What’s going on?” Dean looked at his brother. “You know something?”

“Dean, please don’t be angry with Sam. This is on me.” Y/N took a deep breath. “My shoulder doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“It’s healed up.” Dean shook his head. “Damn it.”

“I can’t do this myself.” Y/N looked at the Winchesters. “I’m sorry to ask, Sam.”

“No.” Dean shook his head. “I’ll do it.”

“Can you?” Y/N asked. “I’m sorry, Dean, but we don’t have time to get back to Kansas for everything else we need and I refuse to live like this. I can’t….You’ll understand soon.”

“I don’t want to kill you, Sweetheart. I know I need to.”

She kissed him. Their last kiss. “I love you, Dean. Go to Kaycee. She’ll explain everything.”  Y/N slowly stood up and smiled. She hugged Sam before looking toward the sky.  “I love the rain. I always find peace in the rain.”

She walked away from the house. The rain fell faster, harder. She spun around a few times and looked at Dean with a smile. “Thank you, for giving me life while we were together. Thank you, Dean. I love you.”

Slowly, she turned around. Dean knew she was still smiling. He knew that she’d found her peace that night.

He knew he’d never know peace again.

Dean pointed the gun at her, but he couldn’t do it. He tried several times. Sam put his hand over his brother’s and whispered, “I’ll do it.” Dean saw the tears in Sam’s eyes.

“I should.”

“You can’t.” Sam turned and fired one shot. He looked back at his brother. “I’m sorry. I knew you couldn’t…”

“You’re right. I should have. She needed me to.”

“It’s okay.” Sam looked at Dean. “We have to take care of Y/N. We need to get rid of these three.”

“Kaycee can tell me…” Dean took a deep breath. “Let’s take care of this.”

Sam watched his brother the next few hours. Dean held Y/N for several minutes before allowing Sam to help wrap her in a white blanket they found in the house.

“She was also so beautiful.” Dean kissed her one last time before they covered her face. “Damn it, Sammy. I…”

“I know.” Sam helped him lift her to the pyre they’d built, well hidden in the woods. The rain had stopped and they knew there was a small window before it would start again.

Dean lit the end of a thick stick and touched it to the dry wood they’d found in the small house. He backed away and thought about all the things he wanted to say to her and never had. He thought about the nights they’d spent together, the passion, the desire. Dean thought about the love they shared, even if it wasn’t the traditional love his parents had, or Sam had with Jessica.

Several hours later, they were knocking on Kaycee’s motel room door. It was obvious she was stunned to see them. “Where’s Y/N?”

“She didn’t make it.” Dean said. “She said you had some answers for me.”

“I do.” Kaycee opened the door. “Come on in.”

The Winchesters stepped inside and both noticed the crib in the corner. Sam waited for Dean’s reaction. Dean looked at Kaycee. “Congratulations.”

“He’s not mine.” Kaycee walked to the crib. “I want to know what happened to my sister. Was it the werewolves? I told her to call you weeks ago.”

Sam explained what happened while Kaycee bounced the little boy in her arms. Dean stood, leaning against the table, looking at the floor.

“Y/N knew she’d go down fighting in the end.” Kaycee smiled.

“Yeah, she wanted to die like a hunter.” Dean looked up. “You two pick him up along the way?”

“Not quite.” Kaycee and Sam exchanged a look. “Dean, Y/N was pregnant when she left the bunker. She knew that you hadn’t wanted children. She didn’t want you to have to choose between your child and your life as a hunter…”

“There wouldn’t have been a choice.” Dean’s face was frozen in disbelief. “I would have taken her and Sammy and we’d have left. We would have…”

“Could you have left though?” Kaycee asked.

Sam answered for him. “Not entirely.”

“He’s mine?” Dean asked.

Kaycee walked to him. “Robert Dean Winchester. He’s almost ten months old. She had him early.”

“Robert Dean…”

“We call him Robbie.” Kaycee handed him over. “Meet your son.”

Dean took him, terrified he’d drop him. Robbie had his mother’s facial features, except for the eyes. He had Dean’s eyes.

“He’s beautiful.” Dean managed a smile. “He’s perfect.”

“Y/N said he reminded her of his dad.” Kaycee told him.

“Sammy,” Dean turned toward his brother. “This is my son.”

“He’s incredible, Dean.” Sam smiled. “He’s amazing.”

Dean held him for a few minutes, pacing the motel room. “She left to protect him.”

“She left because she’s an idiot.” Kaycee told him. “Y/N thought she knew what she was doing. She didn’t.”

“You need to make a decision, Dean.” Sam spoke gently. “He’s your son, Dean. You have to make a decision here.”

Kaycee looked at him. “I can look after him for you. You can see him anytime you want, obviously, but I can get a place in Lebanon….”

“Sam, take Robbie for a few minutes, please.” Dean handed him over. “I need a few minutes.”

“Dean?” Kaycee reached out and touched his shoulder. “I know it’s a lot to process…”

“I just need a few minutes.” Dean left the room and noticed it was raining again. He looked around and then stepped out and let the rain soak through his clothing. He lifted his arms and slowly turned in a circle.

“Sweetheart, this is one hell of a surprise you left for me.” Dean spoke out loud. “I wish you’d told me. I wish you’d said something.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “He’s our son. He’s perfect. I just met him and I love him.” He moved his hand to his eyes and fought tears back. “I’m going to do right by him, Y/N/N. I’m going to make you proud.”

He looked up and let the rain hit his face for several minutes. Dean opened his eyes and smiled. The rain washed over him and he felt something he didn’t know existed.

Dean Winchester felt peace.

“Dean?” Sam and Kaycee were watching from the door.

“Kaycee, I want you and Robbie to come home with us. We’ll get you set up in town. I’ll figure everything out. I have to.” Dean smiled. “My son needs me.”

Kaycee nodded slowly. “I’ll start getting our things together. Sam will have to drive my car and I’ll drive Y/N’s.”

“I’ll go get our things,” Sam told his brother. He patted Dean’s shoulder. “You’re going to be a great father.”

“I’m going to try.” Dean said.

“Are you okay?”

Dean smiled. “Sammy, I’m good. I’m great. I lost Y/N, but she left me a beautiful son and something else I was sure I’d never have.”

“What’s that?”

“Peace.”


End file.
